They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
