And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
