Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
