problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
