Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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