Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize