btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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