thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
