I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
