Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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