Joe is yelling at the trees again.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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