All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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