? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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