Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
