We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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