So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
