Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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