Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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