erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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