Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits