It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.