I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
