You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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