party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
