Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
