Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize