I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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