I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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