i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
