Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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