I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
