TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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