Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
