yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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