you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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