I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
