i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
