when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
