he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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