Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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