but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You can't motorboat a personality
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
