The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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