Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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