There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
