I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
