just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
