ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
