yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
