i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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