Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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