you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
