Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
