I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
