im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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