you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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