only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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