Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
